Why does it matter if people tell the truth about whether or not they’re really fine? You’re busy, I’m busy, we’re all busy. But taking the time to ask someone how they are more than once — especially if you have an inkling that they might not be doing as well as they say they are — can make a difference. It can be as simple as, “I know you said you’re fine when I asked how you were this morning, but I felt like maybe something was off, and I just wanted to ask again. How are you really doing today?” And then follow their lead for how much (or how little) they might want to share.
Every communication has three elements — verbal (the words), vocal (tone of voice), and visual (body language). When someone says, “I’m fine,” pay attention to more than the words. Notice the other person’s facial expressions, body positioning, eye contact, etc. “I’m fine” with a frown or slumped shoulders might mean something other than what the words say.
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